I haven't written much about fertility on this blog as it focuses more on our family, adoption, and life with B, but it's an important part of our story and I'm not sure how much our family and friends know about it, so I figured I'd share a little...
I had always hoped to welcome children through adoption and birth into our family and when Ababa and I got married, even though it wasn't something he had ever considered before, he heard me and after processing it all thought that was a great idea too! (have mentioned before how awesome my husband is:-)
When we didn't get pregnant our first year of marriage (which was a painful surprise), we decided to welcome our first child through adoption and were blessed with the most incredible son, B. We are grateful for this season of challenges if for no other reason than it was one step God used to bring us and B together.
Ababa and I both always envisioned our family with many children. We love being parents and very much want B to grow up with siblings. Ababa is one of 6 children and I am one of 3 and we can not imagine our lives without our siblings. We have been considering whether to start another adoption. We both wanted more children, but were at an impasse. I was ready pretty much as soon as we got home from Ethiopia, Ababa wasn't. So, we have been waiting to see what happened and/or when we were both on the same page. I'll be honest, it is not easy to be on different pages and it is even harder when you are struggling with infertility too.
I have had some issues that indicated my hormones might be out of whack a little (or a lot) so I had a surgery this summer to remove a uterine polyp that turned into a full D&C as well when it turned out my whole uterus was lined with tiny polyps.
I've been going to accupuncture approximately every other week since to help restore and rebalance my system, have been through several rounds of chinese herb therapy since the summer, and am trying to take better care of myself (more sleep, less stress, better food, more activity). It is really, really hard to do that and juggle my responsabilites as a wife, mother, employee, and student, but I have to say, it is helping and I LOVE accupuncture, I would go everyday if I could! Often B comes with me and plays on the floor:-) It's not quite as relaxing that way, but it still works.
Even with all that, we are still not pregnant and it has been over 3 years. So, I went to see a leading Reproductive Endocrinologist who ran a host of blood, ultrasound, and other tests specifically for fertility. We are not interested in pursuing aggressive medical measures to get pregnant, but wanted more clarity regarding the challenges.
We got some test results this week that indicate, while it is still possible, our likelihood of getting pregnant is very low. That was sad and sobering news to hear. Several other tests came back much better than expected and...since it only does take one sperm and one egg...well, it's always possible.
We know that if God wants us to get pregnant, we will. We are trying to just live our life, take better care of ourselves and our health, and see what happens. We do not want to miss out on life by being trapped in the infertility spiral of obession, treatment, and often disappointment. Plus, since our insurance doesn't cover any treatment, if we are going to pursue another child for our family we would rather put our emotional and financial resources into an adopting a child who needs a family.
I am going to start taking more supplements as advised by my accupuncturist and RE, I am going to try and be more consistent about doing yoga and taking care of myself, I am going to explore the healthiest and most manageable nutrition options for me and we are going to keep thinking about starting another adoption (our dream would be to welcome more children through both adoption and pregnancy but we'll see how life unfolds).
In the event we adopt, we'll probably wait until at least the summer (maybe later) to start the process for logistical, financial, and scheduling reasons. Plus psychologically, Ababa will be entering his final year of post-bac classes and I will (hopefully) be done with my MBA which will make a HUGE difference for us.
So, we'll see.
I know that God knows the plans He has for us. I know He loves me. I know he knows my pain, my tears, my questions, my uncertainties, my doubts, my fears, my desires...He knows me, totally and completely. He is in control. Somehow, the plan He has for me is better than my own.
It is scary and hard and sometimes sad, but it is also awesome and I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family!
In the meantime, a certain fabulous 4 year old is growing like a weed (aka the toddler bed is not going to cut it much longer) we are nesting and envisioning a life with two or more children, and B is over the moon excited at the new bunk beds that should be arriving next week (we found them for basically 50% off and free delivery so jumped on that deal).
More on the big boy room later...but here's a peek at the bunks. Aren't they so pretty!?!
I had always hoped to welcome children through adoption and birth into our family and when Ababa and I got married, even though it wasn't something he had ever considered before, he heard me and after processing it all thought that was a great idea too! (have mentioned before how awesome my husband is:-)
When we didn't get pregnant our first year of marriage (which was a painful surprise), we decided to welcome our first child through adoption and were blessed with the most incredible son, B. We are grateful for this season of challenges if for no other reason than it was one step God used to bring us and B together.
Ababa and I both always envisioned our family with many children. We love being parents and very much want B to grow up with siblings. Ababa is one of 6 children and I am one of 3 and we can not imagine our lives without our siblings. We have been considering whether to start another adoption. We both wanted more children, but were at an impasse. I was ready pretty much as soon as we got home from Ethiopia, Ababa wasn't. So, we have been waiting to see what happened and/or when we were both on the same page. I'll be honest, it is not easy to be on different pages and it is even harder when you are struggling with infertility too.
I have had some issues that indicated my hormones might be out of whack a little (or a lot) so I had a surgery this summer to remove a uterine polyp that turned into a full D&C as well when it turned out my whole uterus was lined with tiny polyps.
I've been going to accupuncture approximately every other week since to help restore and rebalance my system, have been through several rounds of chinese herb therapy since the summer, and am trying to take better care of myself (more sleep, less stress, better food, more activity). It is really, really hard to do that and juggle my responsabilites as a wife, mother, employee, and student, but I have to say, it is helping and I LOVE accupuncture, I would go everyday if I could! Often B comes with me and plays on the floor:-) It's not quite as relaxing that way, but it still works.
Even with all that, we are still not pregnant and it has been over 3 years. So, I went to see a leading Reproductive Endocrinologist who ran a host of blood, ultrasound, and other tests specifically for fertility. We are not interested in pursuing aggressive medical measures to get pregnant, but wanted more clarity regarding the challenges.
We got some test results this week that indicate, while it is still possible, our likelihood of getting pregnant is very low. That was sad and sobering news to hear. Several other tests came back much better than expected and...since it only does take one sperm and one egg...well, it's always possible.
We know that if God wants us to get pregnant, we will. We are trying to just live our life, take better care of ourselves and our health, and see what happens. We do not want to miss out on life by being trapped in the infertility spiral of obession, treatment, and often disappointment. Plus, since our insurance doesn't cover any treatment, if we are going to pursue another child for our family we would rather put our emotional and financial resources into an adopting a child who needs a family.
I am going to start taking more supplements as advised by my accupuncturist and RE, I am going to try and be more consistent about doing yoga and taking care of myself, I am going to explore the healthiest and most manageable nutrition options for me and we are going to keep thinking about starting another adoption (our dream would be to welcome more children through both adoption and pregnancy but we'll see how life unfolds).
In the event we adopt, we'll probably wait until at least the summer (maybe later) to start the process for logistical, financial, and scheduling reasons. Plus psychologically, Ababa will be entering his final year of post-bac classes and I will (hopefully) be done with my MBA which will make a HUGE difference for us.
So, we'll see.
I know that God knows the plans He has for us. I know He loves me. I know he knows my pain, my tears, my questions, my uncertainties, my doubts, my fears, my desires...He knows me, totally and completely. He is in control. Somehow, the plan He has for me is better than my own.
It is scary and hard and sometimes sad, but it is also awesome and I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family!
In the meantime, a certain fabulous 4 year old is growing like a weed (aka the toddler bed is not going to cut it much longer) we are nesting and envisioning a life with two or more children, and B is over the moon excited at the new bunk beds that should be arriving next week (we found them for basically 50% off and free delivery so jumped on that deal).
More on the big boy room later...but here's a peek at the bunks. Aren't they so pretty!?!
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