Mopey Monday

I wish I had a more upbeat post for today, but I don't...so we'll dub this Mopey Monday and hope it's not a regular feature on the blog!

I don't know why, but today was hard for me.  So instead of blowing sunshine up your a#$, I am just going to be real:

-I hate that a little boy is sitting in an orphanage half a world away with no family to take care of him and that me and Ababa are sitting here with empty arms and an empty house with no child to love and raise and care for.

-I hate that my son-to-be is not the only child in this situation, but that there are many many many (some say 147 million) other children who don't have families who can take care of them...and that people and families who have the financial and emotional capacity to do something about it through humanitarian aid, family preservation programs, and adoption...don't.

-I hate that families who want to raise and take care of their children can't because of medical, financial, and/or social challenges.

-I hate the dense layers of inscrutable bureaucracy that stand between me and my son-to-be.

-I hate that there is no date to look forward to when I know that my child will officially be my child, my son, and will be home in NYC in our arms.

-I hate that there are children right here in NYC and NYS who need families who can love them and raise them but are not free for adoption and/or the process seems to be more heartwrenching and  opaque than international adoption (and that we didn't have the courage to try harder to navigate that system...after B is home, we may try again).

-I hate that there are unethical agencies who believe the ends (or the dollars!) justify the means, and bribe, coerce, recruit, and otherwise interfere in negative ways in the child relinquishment and adoptive processes...and then have the audacity to do it all in the name of "God/Jesus".

-I hate that the issues that lead to the legitimate need for international adoption (and the potential solutions) are so dense, complicated, and of such magnitude that it seems to be insurmountable.

-I hate that at least one agency is currently telling their clients that the MOWA changes are adding another YEAR to the process (our agency, who I do trust, says they have not seen any slow-down yet and cases are still being processed at about the same speed as before the 5-case per day announcement).

-I hate that even with "normal" processing times, there is a good chance that our case will get stuck in the rainy season and B won't be home until Thanksgiving/Christmas.

-I hate that I am jealous (but also DELIGHTED:-) for families whose children are home, soon to be home, or almost through court...pretty much anyone who is further in the process than us!

-I hate that many adoptive families insist they only want to adopt healthy infants or infant twins, especially girls, and overlook toddlers and older children. (There are an absolutely adorable pairs of sisters who are 6 and 8 on our previous agencies waiting child list.  They've been on the list for at least 2 months and still aren't matched  with a family! Families, I love you, but if you want "sugar and spice and everything nice" it is right there in front of you, times two! There are also some amazing diamond in the rough boys who are around the same age and our current agency has waiting boys in the 2-3 year old range and older. And honestly, adoption shouldn't be about how little or young or cute or handsome the child is...  This is a child, not a puppy, not a doll, not a toy...this is a human being who needs and deserves a family just as much as you, and your current children/friend's children/neighbor's children...you get my point:-) and I say that as someone who didn't feel ready to jump directly into parenting an older child or a teenager and as someone who can't adopt a large sibling group in our current little 2-br NYC apt, but God is working on my heart and perspective!  Open your heart and your family and adopt.  Love these children--boys, older children, sibling groups, children with a variety of special needs (including some very mild/correctable ones)--children who families are ignoring, not just the cute little babies who families are clambering to adopt and waiting years to be matched with).

-I hate that I am PMSing b/c it makes me mopey and reminds me that not only is our adoption out of my control and subject to some major delays and uncertainties, but that for at least one more month a child won't be joining our family "the old fashioned way" either.

I love that we are matched with B!!!!!  I love B (even though we have never met, I love him, pray for him, think about him constantly, and can't wait to meet him).  I love that God is good and knows us, and knows B, and knows the desires of our hearts.  I love that he knit B (and me and you:-)!) together in our mother's wombs.  He knows every hurt and every hair that falls from our heads and His timing is perfect...but i also know that this hurts and does not make sense to me and today was hard...hard, hard, hard!

Mopey Mondays suck!

Mama and Ababa's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

Some days are just...well...you want to go right back to bed!

It all started yesterday night.  I was still stuck at work and Ababa went to get in the car...it wasn't there.

It was parked in a legal spot and had no tickets.

He looked around the block, called 311, checked online, and wasn't able to find our car anywhere.

For hours he called different numbers talking to the police precincts, towing companies, impound lots, 311...then it popped up in the system as "towed".

So he made all those calls again, trying to determine why our legally parked car with no tickets was towed from the street right next to our building.

The amount of rudeness, hostility, condescension, and disrespect he encountered was shocking.  We will be drafting many letter of complaint next week but suffice it to say, I don't think that even in the rudest New Yorker's mind it is ok to treat people the was Ababa was treated.

Today he followed the instructions from 311, the police, and the impound lot.  Went downtown to pay the $205 towing fee--which took over 3 hours of waiting in line, came back uptown to get the car out of the lot (you can't get it until you have your receipt from downtown) and learned that indeed our car had been stolen and abandoned.  It had been towed from the spot where it had been abandoned and accumulating tickets over the past two days...now minus a radio, with a broken steering column, dents in the body, out of gas, and with hoses and misc. items in the engine disconnected (it was obvious they tried to steal the engine and somehow got interrupted).

The tow lot made Ababa reconnect the engine and drive it off the lot.  He called the police to file a stolen vehicle report and they said that since it was towed from where it was abandoned it was "criminal mischief" not "grand theft auto" so Ababa had to go to the precinct where it was found to file the complaint.

Ababa went there and they told him that indeed the other precinct should have done the paperwork and that it was grand theft auto (once something is stolen it is stolen...the fact that it was recovered doesn't negate the fact that it was stolen!).

Then Ababa filed the insurance claim.  They were very kind and helpful and said it may actually be a total loss given the extent of the damage.  Their adjuster will contact us tomorrow.

We will have to go to traffic court in person to get the tickets the car incurred while stolen waived and to get our $205 back.

Now we are home...with the car parked on the street...waiting to hear from our insurance company.

Good thing Ababa is not working right now, b/c between the adoption paperwork and stuff like this he practically has a full-time job!  I just got home from work (at about 10:15 pm) and there is no way that I could have taken care of this today.

To NYC, the NYPD, 311, and the various towing companies and impound lots you contract:...you need some serious customer service training, some major IT improvements, and a general examination of the process for retrieving stolen cars.

To USAA insurance: you have the best customer service in the world!!!  Maybe you can help NYC/NYPD/311, etc.

To whomever stole our car:  WTF!?!?!?!?!?!
Go buy your own car or car parts and keep your sticky fingers off of ours!!!!!!  What on earth makes you think you can just take someone else's car?!?!?!?!?!  That car may be a piece of cr*p 1995 H@nda Civic, but that is OUR piece of cr*p 1995 H@nda Civic.  We worked hard for the money to buy that car, have put a lot of money into the car, JUST had major repairs done 2 weeks ago, and need the car for the next five weekends.  We may call that car "Tool" b/c it is a purely utilitarian vehicle, but that is OUR purely utilitarian vehicle.  Keep your grubby hands off of OUR Tool and so help me, if you steal it again from our street...well...I don't know what I would do about that, but if we ever figure out who you are we will prosecute you to the fullest (FULLEST) extent of the law and if we don't well...I may just have to freak out if I see any suspicious looking person loitering near a parked car.

Oh yeah--apparently Hybrids are some of the least stolen cars in NYC and H@ndas are the most stolen cars.  Our next car (which probably won't be for 5 years) will be a Hybrid for many reasons, including this one!!!