We are coming up on our one year anniversary of meeting B. Big anniversaries like this can be difficult for kids even if they don't have conscious memories of it. Their hearts remember it in a well-documented, but not well understood/explained phenomena and it can be a really bitter sweet experience--best case scenario it's a great day for them b/c they met their adoptive family (some kids don't feel like this was a great thing), but also a sad day b/c that meant left their birth country/birth family/culture/and everything that was familiar (most kids feel this way at least at various points in their lives).
I can not believe that one year ago today Ababa and I were flying to Ethiopia! I'll post more about meeting B and hopefully some excerpts from my travel journal this summer.
My original plan for our first "Family Day" was to have a laid back day at home, maybe go for a walk in a park, and have Ethiopian food and an egg-free ice cream cake.
Being the awesome mom that I am (not!), without even thinking that July 1 was our family day and that this could be a tricky weekend for B, I scheduled a get together at our house to help raise support for our friends who are missionaries in Spain and are in the US doing fundraising. Um yeah, epic mommy fail.
So, instead his first Family Day will be sangria, ghetto tapas, and a bunch of people he doesn't know that well at our house. Then 2 days later we leave on a 5 day trip during which we are going to see three different sets of friends and family members in three states. He's pretty excited about our trip and had a rough week last week, but is doing really well this week, so hopefully all will go ok. If not, we'll pack-up early and make the 2-3 hour drive home.
Buckle up B, mommy is sorry that it's so crazy right now.
B had a really hard week last week with some issues that we hadn't seen much of for several months, we took a step back, gave him some extra TLC whenever possible, and this week he's doing much better. I think in addition to the whole family day thing, his giardia is still going strong and in the middle of flare-up, and he is transitioning from co-sleeping in our bed to sleeping in a cot in our room (with the end goal of moving the cot to his room later this summer and then having him sleep in his bed in his room at night by the fall).
Co-sleeping has been absolutely the right decision for B and for our family, I can not say enough about how much it helped our bonding (and by our, that is not just B's bonding I'm talking about, it really has been great for our whole family!) and truthfully I am sad that it is coming to an end, but he seems to be ready so we are slowly starting down this path. We introduced the blue bed for naps last weekend, but he did not want to sleep in it at night then or this week....but tonight...he asked to sleep in it and 20 minutes later...he's asleep!
B's other big news is that he seems to really be starting to understand that we take care of him and always come to get him no matter what. When we were doing the morning bottle (that tapered off about a month ago) we would always...every day...multiple times a day...recite our family mantras:
We are a family, mommy, daddy, and B
Mommy and daddy's job is to love B, to take care of B, to keep B safe, and to teach B about God. B's job is to love mommy and daddy, to listen to and obey mommy and daddy, and to learn about God.
Families stick together.
Mommy and daddy always come home and we always come to get you no matter where you are.
B LOVED saying all these things and they would help when he was upset.
But he now has taken total ownership of it with a game he plays where he says:
"B ________ (fill in the blank with something like "ride a city bus" "take the subway" "use a knife" "take a bath by yourself" "walk Woosha" "go outside" "do the laundry" "stay in the guesthouse [in Ethiopia], etc. ) by yourself" and then I am supposed to say "you can't do that by yourself, you are just a kid/baby/little boy..." he then cackles hysterically and his eyes light up. It really seems to make him feel safe and taken care of. He now also recaps it at the end and concludes with "we are a family" and "mommy and daddy [will] stay right there."
My heart swells when I see these very tangible signs of him truly starting to feel loved, safe, and comfortable in our family.
I can not believe that one year ago today Ababa and I were flying to Ethiopia! I'll post more about meeting B and hopefully some excerpts from my travel journal this summer.
My original plan for our first "Family Day" was to have a laid back day at home, maybe go for a walk in a park, and have Ethiopian food and an egg-free ice cream cake.
Being the awesome mom that I am (not!), without even thinking that July 1 was our family day and that this could be a tricky weekend for B, I scheduled a get together at our house to help raise support for our friends who are missionaries in Spain and are in the US doing fundraising. Um yeah, epic mommy fail.
So, instead his first Family Day will be sangria, ghetto tapas, and a bunch of people he doesn't know that well at our house. Then 2 days later we leave on a 5 day trip during which we are going to see three different sets of friends and family members in three states. He's pretty excited about our trip and had a rough week last week, but is doing really well this week, so hopefully all will go ok. If not, we'll pack-up early and make the 2-3 hour drive home.
Buckle up B, mommy is sorry that it's so crazy right now.
B had a really hard week last week with some issues that we hadn't seen much of for several months, we took a step back, gave him some extra TLC whenever possible, and this week he's doing much better. I think in addition to the whole family day thing, his giardia is still going strong and in the middle of flare-up, and he is transitioning from co-sleeping in our bed to sleeping in a cot in our room (with the end goal of moving the cot to his room later this summer and then having him sleep in his bed in his room at night by the fall).
Co-sleeping has been absolutely the right decision for B and for our family, I can not say enough about how much it helped our bonding (and by our, that is not just B's bonding I'm talking about, it really has been great for our whole family!) and truthfully I am sad that it is coming to an end, but he seems to be ready so we are slowly starting down this path. We introduced the blue bed for naps last weekend, but he did not want to sleep in it at night then or this week....but tonight...he asked to sleep in it and 20 minutes later...he's asleep!
B's other big news is that he seems to really be starting to understand that we take care of him and always come to get him no matter what. When we were doing the morning bottle (that tapered off about a month ago) we would always...every day...multiple times a day...recite our family mantras:
We are a family, mommy, daddy, and B
Mommy and daddy's job is to love B, to take care of B, to keep B safe, and to teach B about God. B's job is to love mommy and daddy, to listen to and obey mommy and daddy, and to learn about God.
Families stick together.
Mommy and daddy always come home and we always come to get you no matter where you are.
B LOVED saying all these things and they would help when he was upset.
But he now has taken total ownership of it with a game he plays where he says:
"B ________ (fill in the blank with something like "ride a city bus" "take the subway" "use a knife" "take a bath by yourself" "walk Woosha" "go outside" "do the laundry" "stay in the guesthouse [in Ethiopia], etc. ) by yourself" and then I am supposed to say "you can't do that by yourself, you are just a kid/baby/little boy..." he then cackles hysterically and his eyes light up. It really seems to make him feel safe and taken care of. He now also recaps it at the end and concludes with "we are a family" and "mommy and daddy [will] stay right there."
My heart swells when I see these very tangible signs of him truly starting to feel loved, safe, and comfortable in our family.
I LOVE your family mantra!:) I agree that co-sleeping is a wonderful thing. When we had our bio kids I always said that I could never do it, but after we did with E (and it was such a huge help to bonding), I knew we needed to do the same with A. So far, so good!
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