Christmas According to B...

B: "Mommy, Baby Jesus is toilet man..."
Me: "Um..what?"
B: "God is toilet man...Baby Jesus is God...Jesus is toilet man"
Me. "?!?!?!?!?"
Ababa: "?!?!??!?"
B: "Mo-om-my, Jesus is toilet God and toilet man"
Me: "Oh!!! Jesus is totally God and totally man, yep, you got it!"

When he see anything Christmassy--lights, trees, stockings, etc.  B exclaims "look mommy, CHRISTMAS! Christmas is baby Jesus, fire, Kissmas tree, and pwesents"

His favorite phrases right now are:

 -Gwory Gwory highest...(insert hysterical laughing...not sure why, but he thinks this is HILARIOUS (Glory to God in the highest)
-Dashaway, dashaway, dashaway all...(more hysterical laughing)
-Free Hench Chens (oh yeah, Three french hens, we're singing A LOT of The 12 Days of Christmas around these parts thanks to this awesome book.

We have some good nativity books in the mail too:- )

The Theater:-)

Still busy, still can't find my camera cable to transfer photos to my laptop, still tired...but today was magic.

I wasn't working (yay!), I was just spending time with my baby while Ababa tackled Mount Laundry.  We all slept in, had a leisurely bottle/breakfast, got dressed, and then B and I took the A-train, and went to "the theater"!

We went to see a holiday dance tradition in NYC (not the one you are probably thinking of:-) and B LOVED it!!!!  He "looked with his eyes, listened with his ears, and whispered any questions to mommy".  He was a total champ!  ADORABLE to see him clapping after each piece, unable to hide his gleeful dancing and finger tapping in the seat with his eyes as big as saucers and a huge grin on his face.

And then...he got a backstage tour, got to meet some of the dancers, and got to walk out on to the stage.

Then...the day got even better.  We went to Whole Foods (his first time there and my first time there since before we went to Africa), we got vegan (Egg-free) chocolate chip cookies that are actually REALLY yummy and brought home the fixings for a delicious dinner:

Frozen organic pizza
arugula salad (that also used up some leftover mozerella cheese and apples we had at home)
the aforementioned vegan chocolate chip cookies

Yes, I feel like a total yuppie, but we had a great time!

B has been dancing around with a huge smile on his face all day...and...for one of the few days since I went back to work I actually feel relaxed and like I got to spend some real quality time with my son!

He was great, especially in terms of bonding/attachment stuff--held my hand (as opposed to me holding his), checked-in with me, watched me if I wasn't holding his hand, stayed near me when I let go of his hand to put something in our grocery basket...no tantrums, no whining, no brushing my kisses off, no tensing up when I touch him, even though he didn't have a nap and had a crazy, overstimulating day...just smiles, happy talking, eye contact, and giggles...I'm sure we'll have more tough days ahead, but today was just awesome!

So happy!!!

Thank you God for this amazing blessing!

(and Ababa had a relaxing day at home doing lots of laundry but taking a break from B which he was most ready for!!!)

World AIDS Day

 I am pretty fried right now with work, family, church, holidays, and other important but energy-sucking stuff, but I wanted to highlight World AIDS Day.  I think it is really important to remember where we have been and how far we have to go in regards to HIV and AIDS (not just on December 1, but it's a start).  I have realized the global significance of HIV and AIDS in a much more personal and powerful way over the past year.  Since I can't seem to string together a coherent sentence, I will just link you to Nikki's awesome blog, give a shout-out for an awesome and eye opening book, and highlight positivelyadopted, an information site for families blessed to adopt HIV+ children (read the facts, think about it, pray about it, and figure out where you are led, but really HIV is so manageable with early treatment and the medicines we have available...consider it!):


Nikki's post on World AIDS Day (basically what I would have written, but better:-)
http://rowanfamilytree.com/2011/12/01/world-aids-day-meaning-words/

28 Stories of AIDS in Africa
http://28stories.com/home/default.asp
http://www.amazon.com/28-Stories-Africa-Stephanie-Nolen/dp/0802715982

Positively Adopted
http://www.positivelyadopted.com/

Important Update from USCIS re visa processing

I'm posting this for all my friends (and friends I haven't met yet:-) who are still in process in case they haven't seen it yet...

Dear Stakeholder-

A USCIS team of four officers arrived in Ethiopia and began working
at Embassy Addis Ababa on November 7, 2011. As of the date of this
notice, the team has received 63 "not clearly approvable"
cases from Embassy Addis, and expects to receive at least 1 more case
before they depart on Friday, November 18, 2011. The following provides
a summary of the results of the team's review of the cases as of
November 15, 2011:

Approvals Issued: 36

Requests for Evidence Issued: 9

Notices of Intent to Deny Issued: 1

Under USCIS Team Review 9

Pending Birth Relative Interview 8

Pending Physical Transfer 1

During the team's first days in Addis, they began reviewing the
cases, and established procedures necessary for completing
adjudication and issuing notices. Embassy Addis is providing the
resources necessary for USCIS to be able to adjudicate the not clearly
approvable cases. Although the team has encountered some technological
challenges, the team has been issuing decisions and notices as soon as
they are able.

All cases that the team is able to approve before they depart from
Addis Ababa will stay with the Consular Section in Embassy Addis Ababa,
for immediate scheduling of immigrant visa processing. Families that
receive an approval notice will be contacted directly by the U.S.
Embassy within three business days. We strongly recommend that
families wait to be contacted regarding an immigrant visa interview
before making travel arrangements. Cases that require a Request for
Evidence or a Notice of Intent to Deny will be sent to the USCIS Rome
District Office for further processing.

Each family that received a Request for Evidence or a Notice of Intent
to Deny should carefully read the instructions regarding where to send
additional evidence to avoid delays in processing that could be caused
by sending the evidence to the incorrect USCIS Office. USCIS has
decided to utilize additional resources at the Rome District Office in
the ongoing processing of some of the affected cases in an effort to
ensure that they are processed to completion as quickly as possible.

In the coming weeks, USCIS and DOS will schedule another stakeholder
call to provide a briefing on the team's work in Addis Ababa, and
an update on how processing will proceed going forward for any new
cases identified by Embassy Addis Ababa as not clearly approvable.

Kind Regards,

Office of Public Engagement

U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services

www.uscis.gov <http://www.uscis.gov/>



November 16, 2011
Notice: Procedure for Processing Adoption Cases
This notice provides supplemental information to the adoption notice
of October 7, 2011, adding additional details on the process
applicable to orphan petitions filed with a U.S. Embassy Consular
Section overseas. While the description has been tailored to answer
inquiries specific to Ethiopia, the steps described in this
explanation apply to all non-Hague countries. This notice only
describes the process for Forms I-600 filed with U.S. Embassy Addis
Ababa. For processing information on cases filed domestically with
USCIS through the National Benefits Center (NBC), please refer to the
USCIS website at www.uscis.gov.

Once adoptive parents are in possession of the final adoption decree
from the Federal First Instance Court, approval letters from the
Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs, the child's birth
certificate and Ethiopian passport, and all other required Form I-600
supporting documentation, they (or their authorized agent) may file
Form I-600, Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative, with
the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa if they have met the physical
presence requirements for filing a Form I-600 petition overseas.

Upon receipt of the Form I-600 and accompanying documentation, the U.S.
Embassy begins the Form I-604, Determination on Child for Adoption,
orphan status investigation – the process to determine if the child
meets the definition of an orphan under U.S. immigration law. The time
frame for completion of the Form I-604 determination depends on the
circumstances of each case, but can take up to several weeks or
months. During this time, additional information or documentation may
be requested by the U.S. Embassy for cases with insufficient or
deficient supporting evidence to determine orphan status.

In certain cases it may be necessary to interview the child's
Ethiopian birth parent(s) or guardian, or the individual who found an
abandoned child, to resolve errors or discrepancies discovered in the
case file. The U.S. Embassy conducts such interviews for cases in
which the consular officer deems interview(s) necessary to make a
determination on the child's orphan status. Birth relative and
other interviews are often an integral part of the Form I-604
determination.

The U.S. Embassy must then determine whether the case is clearly
approvable. If a case is clearly approvable, the U.S. Embassy approves
the Form I-600 petition and issues an immigrant visa. If there are
questions regarding the child's orphan status or the information is
insufficient to make a determination, federal regulation requires that
the U.S. Embassy forwards the case as "not clearly approvable"
to the USCIS Field Office in Nairobi, Kenya, for further processing.
When this occurs, the U.S. Embassy sends out a transfer notice to the
petitioners when the case is physically forwarded to USCIS Nairobi, and
provides contact information for further questions.

Upon receipt of a petition identified as "not clearly
approvable," the USCIS Nairobi Field Office notifies the
parent(s) that the case has been received and issues requests for
additional evidence and other notices, if necessary. Upon review of
all available evidence including any response to a Request for
Evidence or Notice of Intent to Deny, USCIS issues a decision and
notify the petitioners. For details of the USCIS process, please
visit USCIS' Ethiopia Q&A page
<http://www.uscis. gov/portal/ site/uscis/ menuitem. 5af9bb95919f35e6 6f61417\
6543f6d1a/?vgnextoi d=7c82d1f2465ae2 10VgnVCM10000008 2ca60aRCRD& vgnextchan\
nel=ecab18a1f8b7321 0VgnVCM100000082 ca60aRCRD> .

If the case is approved, USCIS Nairobi returns the case to the U.S. Embassy for visa
processing. http://adoption. state.gov/ country_informat ion/country_ specific_ alerts_no\
tices.php?alert_ notice_type= notices&alert_ notice_file= ethiopia_ 13
<http://adoption. state.gov/ country_informat ion/country_ specific_ alerts_n\
otices.php?alert_ notice_type= notices&alert_ notice_file= ethiopia_ 13>

Families stick together!

We had our first post-placement visit tonight.  Everything went really well and B was in a great mood, just talking to me the whole time.  He really wasn't interested at all in talking to the social worker.  it was nice to see him want to stick with us and not try to reach out to strangers!

But oh, my heart...after she left Ababa gave me a hug in the kitchen which B saw so he ran over to hug us too (he has started doing this recently, we love it, it's a big family hug!) and B gets a shy but huge grin on his face and says "families stick together" while he stretches his arms around Ababa and me!   

Dasicho Bib!

Betcha don't know what a dasicho bib is:-)  All in good time...all in good time...

We have had a big past few days:

• B's Dr's appt--where he had his first blood test
• Finding out that B has lost 2 pounds since we got home
• scooping vials of poop at home for a stool sample (this was all Ababa)
• family pictures by a professional photographer (really hope they come out well as B's undertaker look was in full swing
• B's baptism-very exciting for us and our church, but a little stressful for B so we're trying to make time for extra cuddles today
• a big Fresh Direct order...hey, that's major excitement in our house, especially since our elevator has been being replaced for the past month so we currently live in a 4th floor walk-up:-)

I'll probably post about each with photos (oh yeah, I totally took pics of the poop vials)...but for now, just know that we've been busy... very, very busy and our gem of the week in terms of B-isms is "Dasicho Bib".

What is a dasicho bib you may ask?  Well, "dasicho" means "bug" in Amharic, "bib" is pretty self-explanatory.  So, what's a "bug bib"?

Well...when B was getting his blood drawn at the Dr. they told him it would feel like a bug bite.  Then they put a bandaid over the draw site.  For some reason B decided this was a bib.  So, he started calling all bandaids "dasicho bibs"...

That's my funny, funny little boy!:-)

Yummy things to eat!

Oh my sweet child cracks me up everyday:-)

His newest thing is to say "this is B's yummy things to eat" whenever we are having something he likes for a meal.

The other day, Ababa told B what they were having for lunch, but kept checking his email for a minute.  B excitedly bounded off towards the kitchen, stopped halfway there, turned around, deliberately held out his hand to Ababa and said "Ababa, let's go, we have yummy things to eat!"

He is also convinced that any box or envelope that arrives is a present for him and will very determinedly declare, "mommy, this is B's present" if I try to open the box.

He also now thinks that all boxes should be opened with knives (since we get everything in the mail and it usually has packing tape, we run a knife through the tape before opening).  It will be a LONG time before he gets to open a package on his own.

He calls (m&ms--our current potty training treat) m-ms (the "and" just doesn't seem to stick) and his typical potty monologue goes something like this "mommy, diaper dry...B shinte on the po-po....mommy, he'll be back (we're still working on pronouns:-)...mommy's getting potty treat...mommy's getting m-m"

His favorite books now are "The Snail and the Whale" "My Lucky Day" "Chicken Soup with Rice" and "The Little Engine That Could" but he still loves any and all books, including his faves from ET.

His singing repertoire now includes "eeesseee beeesseee spidah (itsy bitsy spider)" "roooooowroooooowroooow (row row row your boat)" and "twinkle (twinkle twinkle little star)" as well as "Jesus loves me" and "Where is Thumbkin". He's learning patty-cake and the hokey pokey and is getting pretty accurate with his letters and r/l hands (obviously ababa is teaching him that, since mama still has issues with r/l:-).  Numbers are still interesting, 1, 2, 4, 6, 10, 3 anyone?  In our house, that's how we count right now:-)

Thank you so much for all the lovely presents and notes we've received in the mail.  We're slowly but surely sending out thank you notes, so hopefully by Christmas we'll be caught-up:-)

First World Problems...and however many million orphans...

Since we've been back in the US, life has been challenging in many ways.  In terms of bonding, attachment, becoming a family, we've been doing pretty well, 1. b/c of God's grace ('cause goodness knows we are far from perfect parents) and 2. b/c we've been working very hard on those things in positive, age-appropriate ways and in keeping B's world as close and Mama/Ababa centric as possible.  He's still figuring out what a family is and how to be part of one and we are still trying to figure out how to be his parents:-)  He may look quiet and shy and like we're one big happy family and everything is ok when we are out and about.  He's not, we're not, it's not, and we are all working very hard and processing a lot.   Please remember this and be sensitive.

Coming home from Ethiopia was hard for me.  We lived there for 3 months.  I went from 24/7 with B to back at work at a crazy job and on a good day only getting to see him for 30-60 minutes in the morning and about 1-1.5 hours in the evening.  I'm wading through insurance paperwork, readoption paperwork, our finances, post-placement report scheduling, figuring out childcare, making decisions about my school schedule and how I am going to finish my MBA (oh yeah, life is going to get even more "fun" in January), and trying to spend every minute I can at home with B b/c I feel like I don't have nearly enough time with him.

Ababa has been a great SAHD and is rocking out in his EMT class and figuring out his classes for January, but we're still navigating all the other aspects that go along with him being the stay at home parent and figuring out how to shift some of this crazy load from my plate onto his.

Last week I had one particularly awful day where I got stuck at work with my boss on one of the craziest tirades ever, waited for a subway for 40 minutes, made Ababa late for class and he missed a quiz, he had burned dinner and not done the laundry (which meant no clean pajamas or diapers for B), and when I met him by his class to hand-off/pick-up B I was near tears.  It didn't get better as he told me about dinner and the laundry and I walked home while pushing a cranky B (did I mention that transitions are still pretty tough for B?).

I felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated.  I was fighting back tears and on the verge of just sitting on a stoop and crying.  A giant rat ran in front of us which B was convinced was a squirrel and thought was great, me not so much!  I ordered a pizza and kept it together enough to feed B, play with him, give him a bath, and put him to bed (in a disposable diaper I found in the closet, a long sleeved tshirt, a pair of babylegs, and an extra blanket).

Then I pretty much zoned out on the couch (literally, like clutch a pillow and stare into space zone out, b/c your brain is to fried to do anything) until Ababa got home and we discussed how to make things better and not have so much of this fall on me right now.  We're still figuring that out, but we're working on it.

The thing that is especially weird/hard/poignant/unfathomable...is that while I am stressed about all these things in my life, I am painfully aware of how insignificant these things really are.  We saw suffering and poverty that I couldn't even imagine while we were in Ethiopia.  We became very aware of the vast number of orphans (147 million is that statistic frequently bandied around, though that number is significantly larger than the number of orphans who need/are legally free to be adopted and significantly smaller than the number of people who live in abject poverty).  How do we help them?  How do I freak out about not spending enough time with my son and about my insane job and about our $1250 a month health insurance premium (yes, you read that number right!) when I have seen people who don't have enough to eat or drink, who can't walk, who are covered with visible tumors, who have nowhere to sleep and no one to love them or take care of them.

When I learn of orphans like the 6 month old baby in the DRC who was deliberately thrown into a deep cistern and left to die (he was rescued but was infested with maggots and will likely have long-term medical issues from that) or the precious little girl I met while in ET who was given to a witch doctor by her mother and was horrifically mistreated by him, and is now stuck in an orphanage but not able to be adopted (despite there being a family in the US who met her and desperately want to adopt her) or the little girl in fostercare her in NYC who has been returned to her birthmother but continues to be neglected and while the fostermother (who would be overjoyed to adopt her and/or to be part of her life) is still in her life in someways is very limited in how she can help.

How do my problems fit into this much larger web of problems?  Our world is sick and broken and in need of redemption!  That's really all I know.

Two videos that pretty much sum this week up for me (the first is about first world problems and the second was my anthem in ET.  They played it my first week at church in Addis and the tears just rolled down my cheeks for about 1000 reasons).

Snow, birthdays, and ethiopian food...

Well, we have had quite the week...

B turned 3!!!

We wanted to catch-up on missed birthdays, so he had a few extra "parties":

Birthday candles in his egg-free pancakes at breakfast:

Birthday celebration at an Ethiopia restaurant (party of 4-Mama, Ababa, B, and Miss A-M)

Birthday celebration with his friend who turned 3 in August (B "helped" me make the cake:-)

Two of his favorite presents are a backpack (that he was given at our shower but we just now gave to him) and a scooter we inherited from a friend:

and then today...it snowed...A LOT...like ALL DAY...this was taken in the morning!

My awesome husband got some great shots of our precious little boy enjoying his first snow:-)

Also, B loves his new photo album of our Ethiopia trip so much that we're reading it about 20 times a day so, I ordered two more (with a few more photos in them).  Now he has one for now, we have one, and we have one for him for when he grows up.  I LOVE mypublisher, and if you wait for the BoGo codes, it's really affordable!

Awesome egg-free yellow cake from Madhuram's eggless cooking:

Eggless Vanilla Cake Recipe

Prep time: 15 Mins

Cook time: 27 Mins

Yields: 24 Cake Slices

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 and 1/2 cups All Purpose Flour2 teaspoons
•  Baking Powder
• 1 teaspoon Baking Soda
• 1/4 teaspoon Salt
• 2 tablespoons Sugar
• 1 can Condensed Milk
• 1 cup Water (I used orange juice b/c I was afraid it would be really bland, but it was so good that next time I will try with just water)
• 2 tablespoons Vinegar
• 2 tablespoons Vanilla Extract
• 1/2 cup Melted Butter

PROCEDURE:

1. Preheat the oven at 350F/180C for 15 minutes. Lightly grease a 9×13 inch pan and line it with parchment paper.
2. In a large bowl sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Mix in the sugar.
3. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and stir in the the wet ingredients one by one. Stir the mixture together using a whisk. Some lumps is okay.
4. Pour the batter in the prepared pan and tap the pan to even it out and break the air bubbles if any.
5. Bake it for 25-27 minutes.
6. Transfer the pan to a cooling rack and remove the cake after 15-20 minutes. Place the cake on the rack for it to cool down completely before slicing it.

I baked it in a 9X13 pan lined with a silpat.  Cooled it in the pan and frosted with 1 batch of old fashioned chocolate frosting.  It was DELICIOUS!!!

1 month ago we arrived home!

Okay, so this post is a little late:-)  But I just wanted to say 1 month ago on Friday (the 21st) we arrived at JFK.  Sick (me), tired EXHAUSTED (me), giddy with excitement (B), overwhelmed with happiness to be together again (Ababa)...home!

 

B enjoying his 5 hour layover in Frankfurt while I laid across three chairs, burning up with a 103 degree fever and trying very hard not to vomit or fall asleep (either of which would have left my 2 year old roaming on his own through the airport).  He loved the layover...and the flights...and customs...and the wait for Ababa who was stuck in traffic jam from an accident...and the car ride home...me, not so much:-).  I am so glad to be home!

It feels like an eternity since we got back.  In New York City it feels like you are living 3 lives at once, at least that's how it feels for me.  I work full-time at a very intense (unnecessarily so) fast-paced company, am a full-time hands-on mom in the morning and at night--bottle, breakfast, dinner, bath, stories, snuggles, etc., and am gearing up to start my MBA program again in January, and navigating the health insurance/readoption/name change insanity that greets newly adoptive parents when they arrive in the U.S.  I surf the web with three windows open at the same time, skimming back and forth from page to page, talk on the phone while typing, while sorting through/reading papers on my desk.

In Ethiopia it was me and B, and for the first two months Ababa.  We got up, snuggled, had a bottle, ate oatmeal, played and read stories, snuggled some more, walked to a restaurant for lunch, read more stories, had more snuggles, napped together, walked to a restaurant for dinner, read more stories, had more snuggles, took a bath, went to bed together...rinse and repeat...for three months.  Occasionally we would take a cab or minibus somewhere, have an activity like going to the Lion Zoo or Entoto Mountain or a market, or a day trip further afield to Bethel Womens Center, Desta Mender, or Debre Zeit, but almost every day we were just chilling at the Weygoss, usually cocooned in our room.  We met some awesome people and I am grateful to have been able to stay in Addis for so long, but it was long, and hard, and boring, and stressful b/c we had no idea when we would get home and couldn't plan any trips as everyday there was something that "might happen" that kept us in Addis; however, life in NYC was kind of a shock after those three months in Addis with our much slower 24/7 together lifestyle.

Honestly, it feels like we have been home way longer than we were in Ethiopia, even though we were in Ethiopia for 3 long months.  In fact, Ethiopia is quickly fading from my present thoughts.  Although in some ways it is easier this way, I don't want to forget.  In fact, I want to learn more.  I want my eyes to be opened to the beauty and suffering and reality of life in Africa, and to pray for healing; restoration; practical, sustainable solutions for economic and social issues, and above all for transformation of people's hearts and souls.

I have no idea what that looks like or how I am supposed to be part of it.  For now, we are sponsoring a beautiful little girl in Ethiopia and a gorgeous little baby in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (the atrocities that have happened there/are happening there that are rarely, if ever, mentioned in the US mainstream media are horrifying)!  We believe that the organizations we are sponsoring these children through are operating ethically; are fiscally responsible; and are working for effective, culturally informed and sensitive solutions to big problems.  But sponsoring 2 children is not where we feel this ends for us.

Although my immediate thoughts are no longer in Ethiopia all the time, I will never be the same as I was before I went.  I saw suffering, poverty, strength, and hope in orders of magnitude that I never thought possible.  I see depths of loss, and confusion, and love, and strength in my son's eyes that I didn't know were possible.  And I know that as small as I try to make Him, my God is so much bigger than I could possibly imagine.

He loves the old women who carry unimaginably heavy loads of wood down Entoto Mountain, and the legless beggars crawling on their hands on Bole Road, and the leprous weaver with no hands at ALERT, and the teenage street kid huffing glue in Meskel Square, and the man who pees openly in the water cistern on the side of a busy road, and the widow with three young children who silently sits on the rocky side of the road and holds out her hands....He loves them all, he knows their thoughts, their hopes and dreams, their pain, their hurts...just as much as he knows mine...just as much as he knows the "richest" king or the most "powerful" investment banker/corporate chairman/politician.  That is the deepest and most important thing that Ethiopia taught me.  We all have the same value in God's eyes.  We are all made in His image.  No amount of money, or power, or social status, or good health can change that...how amazing, and humbling, and mindboggling is that?!?!?  All this stuff that we spent 24/7 chasing (money, power, success, health...), doesn't really matter at all.  In the long-run, it does not increase our value in God's eyes one tiny bit, and all these things that we find truly horrifying (poverty, sickness, weakness, powerlessness...), they don't devalue us one iota in God's eyes.  How is that possible?  I don't know, and I don't understand, and it stretches my mind, but I do believe that is true!

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. I John 3:1-2

I don't know where our lives will go next or what the future holds for our family.  But I know that God has an amazing plan for our lives, a plan to use us in some tiny way in his amazing plan of redemption.  For now, we are in NYC.  This is where we believe we are supposed to be...for now...This is the family we are meant to have...for now...and we are trying to trust that God will lead us where he wants us.

Who knows what another month could bring...or a year...or five years...or fifty years...

Truthfully, despite this long-winded post, right now, I am just happy that I got some pictures from our trip into an album:-)  Although we only took photos on our crappy cell phones (and downloaded some from our awesome friend L who is a good mom and actually brought a CAMERA on her extended stay in Ethiopia, imagine that:-), I put together an album last night on mypublisher.  I can't wait for it to get here.  It captures most of our highlights from the trip.  I wish I had taken better pictures, that my giggly, adorable son, didn't plaster a look that would put an undertaker to shame on his face when he hears a camera shutter click (while proudly and earnestly saying "Mommy, I smile"), and that I had included some pictures of souvenirs/crafts/markets, and that I had taken pics of the Mercado and the Weavers Market and the awesome, giant fruit stand on the way to church and at the NGO bazar...etc.  But you know what, mostly I am just glad that I put the photos in an album and that we have it for B and for our family:-)  

Fun days!

B came to my office at the end of the day yesterday (it was a childcare handoff b/c Ababa had to work an overnight shift in a hospital).

I had to stay late for an hour or so finishing up some work, so my handy assistant helped me file, pick-up copies from the copier, clean off my desk, and color on the backs of old presentations:-)

Then it was really late, so we got his favorite Indian food at a nearby restaurant.  He was a total champ, though dinner took forever and neither the food nor the service were anywhere close to Sangam's (I have GOT to figure out how to make yellow dal like they did!)

Then we walked to the subway and saw A LOT of buildings on the way.  B was yelling, "building, mama, that's a building, and another building, and ANOTHER BUILDING!!!!)  His eyes were as big as saucers and hw had a HUGE grin on his face!

Then we walked past two excavators parked on the side of the road and some piece of construction machinery that I have no idea what it was.  Then we had a special treat...PINKBERRY!  (We split a small with plain with kiwi and strawberries on one side for him and peanut butter with jam, chocolate chips, and coconut for me--delish! (and their peanut butter flavor is amazing!)

Then we rode the subway all the way home, took an escaltor, walked the 4 blocks home, and trudged up the 4 flights of stairs (our elevator is closed for the next month for an upgrade:-(  By the end he was exhausted and it was after 9:-(  He had a little meltdown getting ready for bed but was asleep about 5 minutes after his head hit the pillow.

This morning we were both abruptly waken-up by woosha barking his head off to announce that Ababa was home.  After breakfast, Ababa passed out on the couch and B, woosha, and I went for a long walk, played by the Hudson River, saw the Little Red Lighthouse and the Great Grey Bridge in person and had a great time.  There was running, walking on a beach, climbing rocks, throwing a slobbery wet ball for a neighbor's black lab who was out for his daily "fetch and swim"outing.  B took a loooooong nap today and then we got pizza for dinner (he still hates cheese but makes an exception for Domino's thin crust pizza).

What a great day!  I left my camera and phone at home so no pics, but I'll try to get some tomorrow (if the weather is good, we're thinking about picnic and playground after church:-)

Oh poop...it's a good thing you are cute!

Today was an "interesting" day.  B didn't sleep well last night, so Ababa and I didn't sleep well last night, so we were late to church.  After church we went to the playground.  B was tired and cranky but then got over it and had fun--he can't resist a good slide:-).  We came home and ate lunch (corn, potato, and squash chowder--this is important to know for later in the story) and then B went down for a nap.

So far so good...

Then at 5 I went in to wake B up.  He was just waking up on his own and was happy and cuddly, but his room smelled foul.  I thought it was the cloth diapers which were in their bag on the way to the laundry today.  I took him to the po-po like always after nap, unsnapped his diaper to put him on it, and was faced with a TON of poop (super nasty poop given his lunch).  The is the first poopy diaper B has had since he came into our care.  He has been adamant about pooping in the po-po (potty) since July 1 when he came to live with us in Ethiopia, even when he had giardia and was going 10 times a day with gross diarreah.

The poop was contained in the diaper (yay!  cloth diapers totally work:-) but it was everywhere.  While I was shaking it off into the toilet as best I could, before I could clean him off, woosha came up and started trying to LICK IT OFF OF B's BOTTOM!!!  GROSS!!!  AND...IT STARTED DRIPPING ON THE FLOOR!

Ababa was taking a nap, B was in a great mood and wanted to try and run around (with poop all up and through his bottom and halfway up his back), woosha was trying to get a "snack"....it was a poopstravaganza!

Question:  What do you do first when you have a poppy kid, a poopy diaper, a poopy dog, and poop all over the floor?!?!?!??!?!   Answer: Yell really loudly that Ababa's nap is over and he better get up RIGHT NOW:-)

I put the poopy diaper in the bathtub, wiped off the poopy kid, made the poppy dog sit/stay, wiped up the poopy floor, picked up the poopy diaper and rinsed it in the toilet, wiped off the floor, cleaned out the bathtub, ran a bath for B (wipes were just not going to cut it), and then when Ababa finally was awake and functioning, sent him downstairs with the week's worth of diapers to wash, including the most recent nasty addition.

B thought the whole thing was hilarious and has been in a great mood ever since (I would be too after the giant load he got out of his system!)

Not sure if his tummy is upset or what since he seems to feel great.  We only fed him a little fish and rice for dinner with just a few pieces of plum and is going to bed a little early just in case.

I really hope that this is a one time deal and he goes back to being poop potty-trained tomorrow (we're still working on the pee potty-training) b/c this was not at all fun!

Good thing he's so cute:-)

The pic is from Ethiopian New Year (Enkutatash) at our guest house in Addis.  I did not have enough hands to take any pics during today's incident--they were full of poop!

Betcha didn't know this...:-)

Some more B-isms for your weekend enjoyment:-)

Betcha didn't know that...:

• The city where we live is called U-Nork
• Posessive pronouns are always part of a word regardless of whether you are discussing it in the possessive, e.g. a mouth is always called 'zamouth and a nose is always called 'zanose and 'sawatch, so Daddy's watch is "Daddy's z sawatch" (he sticks an extra "z" in just because:-)
• The best thing to do before bed is have a "coconut ovo-oile massage"
• Naptime, bottletime, bathtime, and snacktime are the best part of everyday and warrant excited skipping and giggling throughout the house
• every jeep, everywhere MUST be identified by shouting "JEEP!  Mama, JEEP" and Rav-4s, Landrovers, and most SUVs are also considered Jeeps in this house:-)
• tootsie rolls are very, very hard to chew (I'll post the video later, it's HILARIOUS and apparently Ababa didn't even catch the funniest part on video...mama was at work and missed the whole episode:-(
• Morning is always referred to as "good morning" and birthdays are always referred to as "happy birthday", e.g. we will go to a birthday party in the morning is, "We will go to a happy birthday party in the good morning"
• pasta and cheese in any form are so gross, I think I am being poisoned whenever someone tries to feed them to me

Oooooohhhhh, I love this little boy so much!  He has brought so much joy and laughter and love into our lives!!!

Wacky Cake

YUM, the new go-to birthday cake in our house:

I've used this recipe since college.  In college I would sprinkle chocolate chips over the warm cake and spread them when they melted or just let them melt enough to stick to the top of the cake.  For birthday cakes, I frost with old fashioned chocolate frosting.

WACKY CAKE

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup white sugar
• 4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 tablespoon white vinegar
• 6 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 cup water

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Sift flour, sugar, salt, soda, and cocoa together into an 8x8 inch ungreased cake pan. Make three wells. Pour oil into one, vinegar into one, and vanilla into one. Pour water over it all, and stir it well with fork.
3. Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes (until a tooth pick inserted comes out clean). Frost with old fashioned chocolate frosting OR sprinkle chocolate chips over the warm cake.

This cake is moist and delicious.  No one will EVER guess it's safe for egg and milk allergies!  

OLD FASHIONED CHOCOLATE FROSTING

Ingredients

• 2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup butter
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Cream butter, sift together dry ingredients.  Alternately mix in part of the dry ingredients, the milk, and the vanilla.

I don't even like frosting generally, I usually eat the cake and leave the frosting, but I LOVE this frosting (it tastes like a slightly softer, even more delicious version of the chocolate frosting at Buttercup Bakery).  It's amazing!  Seriously, tonight I may or may not have licked the beater and spatula and eaten some with a spoon...

B-isms

Life as a family of three is going great.  We're doing well with bonding; spending time together; introducing B to our friends, family, and neighborhood, and learning how to be a family...we're not doing to great with laundry; responding to calls, emails, or gifts; or giving people detailed accounts of our time in Addis.  My job is very demanding and has proven to be very unfamily friendly right now, Ababa's EMT class is going well but very busy for him.  So, it's taking all we've got right now to focus on our family.  Hopefully in the next few months we'll start getting the other things together:-)

For now, here are a few photos and B-isms to introduce you to our amazing little guy.

B is a HUGE sponge and mimic.  He's pretty much fluent in English now and is great at letting you know what he wants.  He also repeats EVERYTHING, so mama is working on cleaning up her potty mouth (which needed to happen anyway).  Some our favorite B-isms are below.

"Mama, Happy Birthday Cake" "More candles...candles are fire...mama, candles"
I heard this for about 2 hours a day, EVERYDAY during our last month in Ethiopia as B's favorite activity was making playdough brithday cakes with candles (which meant I made the cakes and candles and then he cut them into little pieces).  B celebrated 3 birthday parties for other little kids and figured out really quickly the joys of birthday parties (namely cake and fire).  Since he's severely allergic to eggs, he only had cake once (only in Ethiopia is it common and relatively easy to get a "fasting" cake which has no milk or dairy:-)  We celebrated Ababa's birthday tonight with an egg-free Wacky Cake (mommy's recipe from college, cheap, easy, and yummy). B isn't really scowling, he just makes a serious face for pictures while saying "mommy, I smile"...and yes, mommy-fail, we had no birthday candles in the house (note to self-must rectify before B's birthday later this month) so I just stuck a taper in the middle of the cake.  It kind of looked like a torch:-)

B has discovered the joy of the playground, especially the slide.  he also got his first playground injury.  As you can see from this pic, he decided after many runs down the slide to mix it up by switching from seated on his bottom to lying on his tummy MID-SLIDE!  Yeah, not a great idea!  He wacked his face on the slide and got a bloody nose. (It's a sad miracle that I caught this moment on camera as we take pics with our crappy cell phone cameras that have 5 second delays on all photos, since our digital camera sucks the life out of batteries like no other...we're saving to get a new digital camera for Christmas:-)

We are still co-sleeping and I have to say it has greatly helped bonding, sleeping, and fostering a sense of family...but...B drools...ALOT...'nough said!

I was very sick for about a week after we got back from Ethiopia.  Once I was feeling better, we ordered pizza from Dominos one night.  The online order ticker was Pirate-themed and a parrot keept squacking "Auck, prepping your order".  B thought that was HILARIOUS and now walks around the house randomly saying "Auck, pemping your ordah"...B is a great eater.  Loves anything with fish and rice (his two favorite foods), soups, stews (like Ethiopian wats, Indian dals, chili, etc.) and he loves fruit (especially, apples, pears, oranges, plums, tomatoes...).  He also loves corn on the cob and chicken.  He cleaned his corn cob the very first time and had his first drumstick the other day.  He sucked the bones dry and even ate the cartilege!  The only foods that he really hates so far are pasta, cheese, pickles, and peaches.

He repeats everything we say, but doesn't always get the meaning quite right.  So, currently he says "that's gis-dusting" when he thinks something is good (b/c I say "that's disgusting" when something is yucky:-) and "mommy, that's Masty" when something is funny (b/c I say "that's nasty" when something is yucky:-)

We just started official pottytraining today (he has pooped in the potty ever since we met him, but pee is usually in his diaper:-(  He loves the book "Everybody Poops" (which Ababa and I think is kind of disturbing and gross).  We started rewarding him today when his diaper is dry AND he pees in the potty and he had a dry diaper all day.  So, we'll see.  After 3 months of diapers, and at almost 3 years old, it'd be awesome if he was potty-trained.  But, if he needs more time that's fine with us too...For now, we are using the bigger diapers in the awesome cloth diaper stash I amassed during the past 2 years and we're learning the joys of cloth diapering in the city...

Internet and Phone in Addis

Practical Travel Info: Internet and Phone

Internet-The Weygoss charges 30 birr per hour for wireless internet and 75 cents Birr for using their computer for internet.  The internet is very slow, went out frequently, and was entirely unavailable for over 2 weeks during our stay.  We ended up inheriting a mobile hotspot (EVDO stick) from a family who was leaving and our internet experience was MUCH better.  I would HIGHLY recommend buying a hotspot if you will be in ET longer than a month.  You can buy them in ET for about $150 US and then have to pay a monthly fee and buy the phone cards to load Birr onto your account, or you can look into options in the US that might work here.

Phone-We brought a global phone (thank you A-M!) and then just had to buy a SIM card here (approx. $30 US I think).  We got ours at a phone kiosk in the lobby of the Getu building.  You can also buy phones here for a reasonable amount ($30-$50 US often).  You then need to buy Birr to load onto your phone and internet stick, we got the green cards which come in 100 Birr denominations.

We only used our phone for making local calls and for incoming local calls, all other calls we did through skype.  Once we started using the EVDO stick skype was great.  The regular Weygoss internet often dropped skype calls.

There are also internet cafes throughout Addis.

Transportation in Addis

Practical Travel Info: Transportation in Addis

There are several transportation options in Addis.  We chose the Weygoss b/c we could walk to a lot of places and are glad we did.  There are also buses, mini buses, taxis, and hiring private drivers. I think that you would need to be clinically insane to try and rent a car in Addis.  It is expensive, and the driving is crazy.  Meskel Square literally has like 27 lanes of traffic that come together with NO TRAFFIC LIGHT (not in a round about, it’s like a K-shaped intersection) and occasionally donkeys or sheep walk across it—‘nough said!

Walking: If you can choke down the smog that flows from vehicles in Addis like water and if you are savvy enough to avoid pickpockets and can deal with beggars, walking is a great option.  Violent crime is very low in Addis and we never felt unsafe in that way at all (remember we are somewhat grizzled New Yorkers thoughJ)  The pickpockets are annoying, but pretty easy to avoid if you know what to look for (kids with boxes who are trying to “sell something” and group of kids with nothing to do are the main culprits—kids shining shoes, selling books or maps,  or selling lottery tickets are not usually an issue beyond heckling you to buy something).  Beggars range from annoying to absolutely heartbreaking.  Make up your mid before you go outside if you want to give them money or not.  We found the best options were to fold 1, 5, or 10 birr into a very small shape and drop on their lap surreptitiously or to put it in a bag of food.  If you are obvious that you are giving money to a beggar, many more will pursue you.  Walking is great, and was often our preferred method of transport for trips of approx. 1 mile or less.  If you have asthma like me, bring your inhalers!  Between the smog and the elevation it can be tough going sometimes.

(For the first few weeks, and always for longer distances, I would carry B in the Boba carrier.  I think any stroller except maybe big rugged jogging strollers with thorn resistant innertube tires would be pretty much useless here.  If you have two little kids and it’s just you, maybe try carrying one on your front and one on your back, or possibly bring a Bob Revolution or Baby Jogger and see if they can work.  We saw several people with McClarens and pretty much laughed at them, as they carried the stroller more than they pushed it!).

Buses: Do not take the red/orange city buses if you can help it.  There is a lot of petty crime on them and farengi (foreigners) are not usually treated well.

MiniBuses: The blue and white mini busses are AWESOME!  The fare is approx. 2.60 Birr to anywhere the bus you are on goes (no free transfers, so if you change busses you have to pay a new fare).  The drivers don’t often speak much English, but you can usually communicate the route you want.  We often used the Bole Road (runs down Bole away from Meskel Square), Mexico Square, and Mekanissa (this was the route to the International Evangelical Church) busses.  They are cheap, relatively fast, and come frequently.  The biggest drawback is that they can be CROWED (think 16+ people in an 11 passenger van with several people also carrying children).  When you want to get off tell the operator “gurage” (sounds like garage but with a “u”).  There is often at least one passenger who speaks English, so if the operator doesn’t know where you want to go see if any of your fellow passengers can understand you.

Cabs-Taxis are everywhere.  They can be yellow or blue and white.  Our area of Bole Road had mostly Blue and white cabs.  Negotiate a price with a driver before you get in and know landmarks near where you want to go as drivers often won’t know where exactly it is, especially if you are going to places that ferengi go but locals don’t.  You can get most places in Addis for around 40-100 Birr each way depending on how hard you negotiate.  If you tell the driver you want round-trip it is cheaper and they don’t mind waiting.  E.g. if you want to go to Island Breeze restaurant which is in the Piazza area near the old post office a driver might say 100 birr each way, but will happily accept 170 birr round trip including waiting for 2 hours while you eat.  Do not pay them anything until you have completed your return tripJ Our most frequent cab driver was named Marshahl and he waits at the cab stand by New York New York.

Drivers-We didn’t hire a driver until we’d been in Addis for about 5 weeks.  We walked or mini-bussed everywhere, or took an occasional cab.  If you want to get out of Addis though, a driver is best.  Also, if you want to go up Entoto Mountain, but sure to confirm your driver and their vehicle can make it up there as many can not!  Like cabs, negotiate a rate a head of time (usually a half-day or a whole day rate) and don’t pay anything until you are back home.  When we were in Addis, a half-day rate was approx. 300-500 birr and full day was 500-700+ depending on your negotiating and the driver.  You could get less, but the vehicle/driver was often not so great.  Most drivers have vans so if you chip in with friends you can have a pretty affordable outing. The driver we used mostly was named Melkamu.

For longer trips (like to Awassa) check-out sky bus which is an upscale bus option.  That’s what we were going to take if we went on our planned trip to Awassa and Aregash Lodge (which never happened due to delays by our agency that kept us in Addis far longer than necessary).